So, this happened.

 

 

I am such a dork. All I could think about while standing next to Andrew McCarthy at a book signing, was "What about prom, Blaine? What about PROM?"

The 14 year old that lurks just below my surface was freaking out. My much older self was suitably charmed and impressed.

It's The Little Things

I am not big into New Year's resolutions. I am terrible at keeping them and it seems to me that January is the worst month to begin major changes. It is too cold and I am just catching my breath from the November to December whirlwind of the holidays. September, with the back to school vibe and tinge of fall in the air, is a good season to start fresh. And, June with the promise of summer and long days of sunshine, always motivates me. In January and February, I just want to hibernate.

But, this year, feels a bit different. I look at the kids and cannot believe how quickly they are growing. Their limbs are long. My oldest reaches to my shoulder and he is just 9 years old. My baby, the 2 year old, looks like a little person, a little man. His infant, newborn features are long gone. The last ten years have truly flown by. I have become very aware that now is the time I have with them to make our traditions and create our family history. The horror and loss in Newtown has shockingly reminded me that the time I am lucky enough to have right now is not promised and each moment, each second, is precious and priceless.

So, I haven't made any concrete resolutions, but I am trying to reset my brain to make more room and time for what matters. To put the energy and effort into that which will count the most. All the little things that make up the Big Things. Write more. Read more. Make a plan to get healthy. Create more - learn how to sew and teach Kate, finally finish a quilt, update the baby books, take more pictures, clean my room, take more walks.

There is another little thing arriving in 2013 that will be a very Big Thing. It is finally my turn to be an Aunt. I can't wait. I am lucky enough to have two sisters who love and adore and spoil my three children beyond measure. And reason. They are the High Priestesses in the Village that raise my kids with me.  I am so happy the kids will have a cousin.

So, the only resolution I am willing to commit to is that this will be a year in which I seek out all those momemts, instead of letting them pass by and hold on to them tightly and fiercely.

And, also to clean my room. Really.

It's All Jon Hamm's Fault

Well, March came and went, didn't? I have many reasons and distractions as to why attention to my little blog was so scant during the Ides of March. But, I think I will just lay down all the blame at the well-tailored feet of Jon Hamm and the loveliness known as "Mad Men."

I watched three seasons on DVD. In about 3 weeks. That is 24 hours of television.
I am a little ashamed.

Enjoy how many ways one man can say "What?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsJSRP7cZVo

Savoring the Extra Day

Things I wished I had done today on Leap Day:

1. Spent more time inhaling the sweet smell of my baby boy's hair.
2. Sleeping in
3. Reading
4. Laughing with a friend
5. Writing

Things I actually did today:

1. Idled in traffic
2. Rushed to work
3. Worked at a tedious job
4. Went to the dentist
5. Gave three kids messy baths and counted the minutes until bedtime

The best part of the day:

After rushing through dinner and cajoling three hyper, semi-clean kids into bed, I was in the middle of a half-hearted attempt to tackle the sink full of dishes when I caught myself and stopped.  I went into my daughter's room. She was still awake. She asked me earlier to read her a book. I said "No, too late, time for bed, c'mon, let's go! Brush your teeth! Hurry up!"

Seriously? Too late?

Who turns down a 5 year old's request to sit and read with them? What had my day been about?

Somewhere in the middle of all that I had to do today and all that I wished I had done, was the one absolute, certain thing I should have never hesitated to do.

Read to my daughter.

My 5 year old bundle of curls and spirit and attitude and love who one day will be 11, going on 15, going on 25. I will ask her to stop and sit with me and talk with me and laugh with me and she will be busy with her own world and her own life and remember the times when she was a little girl and she asked me to read to her and I said, No.

I curled up next to her and we read a book about a little boy who imagines what it is like to live in the jungle. She told me about the new eraser she got at school today and how she can't wait for her birthday.

It was the best fifteen minutes of my whole day.

My Funny Valentine

My big kid, is eight years old going on about forty. He is a confounding mix of serious and silly and sensitive and strong. When he grows up, he want to "be just like Da Vinci and invent lots of new stuff."

His favorite song is "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. He learned it in first grade music class for the concert to celebrate the end of the school year. He was humming it in the car yesterday and told me "it is the most inspiring thing he has ever heard and the words make me really, really happy."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7k0a5hYnSI&ob=av2e

Waves

I am so glad I took a moment to tilt my head upwards this morning and notice a perfect January sky.

Reminds me of "The Color Purple" by Alice Walker.

"...just wanting to share a good thing. I think it pisses God off when you walk by the colour purple in a field and don't notice it."

The morning sky was showing off it's purple. I was lucky to see it.

I want to go there.

Was meandering about from blog to blog and just read this intro to finslippy.com

"Why, hello there. Alice Bradley is a writer, and this is her blog."

I am a little in awe and envious. I want to declare the same with such authority, but fearful mine would be more along the lines of "Hey, what's up? Jennifer is a well-intentioned, somewhat scattered mother, who got way-laid professionally and this is her online Dear Diary."